Saturday, 4 October 2014

Wasted Wanderings

It's not until you return to education that you really appreciate how much fun being lazy is. It's practically been a year since my last blog post, (I know, I know; I've let things slip for ages...), and I've finally started my new journey to changing my whole life. Well, sort of.

Why sort of? Because it's not really a change but more of what I feel is a step in a backwards direction. I'm back in education. I'm back to procrastinating. I'm back to feeling trapped and having to adhere to certain directions (even though we've been told we have freedom within our grasp). In a way, I'm still stuck in my angered mindset because I'm fed up of trying to make people happy all the time. It is draining.

"I want to be free to do what I want, be what I want any old time, and to be free to be who I choose."

Is that too much to ask for?

But then again I suppose freedom comes at a cost according to the power-induced leaders of the world. Sometimes, in order to make ourselves free, our minds need to be so free that our very existence is an act of rebellion. 

Yes, but this is my own choice - I was not forced into choosing this. But you know what annoys me so much more? How it feels like being a rebellion doesn't count. It feels like it has to be mainstream, or nothing. A channelled rebel. Shaped to not upset the rest of society. And that, my fellow followers, is why I feel like the world is against me: because I don't fit into a certain criteria, because I'm quiet, and most annoyingly, because they allow me to contradict myself to a 'T'. 

ramble away,
maddening wishes xxx

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